Let’s explore the link between assertiveness and stress management.
When people say “yes” when they actually want to say “no,” they take on additional burdens—whether it’s time, energy, money, or a combination of these. This often leads to sacrifices and repercussions that can cause stress. For instance, if a colleague asks for help and you agree reluctantly, you might miss deadlines on your own tasks, which affects your performance and workload. Similarly, if a family member asks you to make an extra stop on your way home, you might end up missing your gym class. Repeatedly sacrificing your own needs and desires to please others can lead to stress, resentment, decreased self-esteem, and feelings of victimisation.
Assertiveness involves communicating clearly and directly while respecting all parties involved, including yourself. It’s about expressing your needs and boundaries without causing unnecessary conflict.
Here’s a simple example: When a neighbour played loud music late at night, I had several options. I could ignore it and stay upset (passive), file a complaint with the police (still passive), or confront him aggressively (aggressive). Instead, I chose to assertively knock on his door and politely ask him to lower the volume. This direct and respectful approach effectively resolved the issue.
Remember to be mindful of your tone, body language, and choice of words, ensuring they align with your message.
If you’d like some help liberating yourself from always saying yes, get in touch with me here.